At the end of November I packed all my things, put them in a storage, and ended the lease of my apartment in Finland. I packed a suitcase, and left, without a plan, basically becoming “homeless”. Now it has been 7 months on this “trip” that has become a fast track into more awareness of everything. What a journey it is!

First few months were hard. I chose this, not because I “wanted” to, but because there were things that I wanted to change, and I knew this would change them, or would contribute to me being able to make a different choice. And it has! There has been many unexpected discoveries too.

I became much more close with myself, and way more honest. When you are constantly on the move, there is no space to live someone else’s life or fulfil someone else’s dreams – it is really not fun, and it is actually exhausting. The more I got clear on what I like, what I WOULD like to have, and what works for me, the easier and more fun this got. This was the hard part in the beginning; getting more honest with myself.

I truly had no plan, I didn’t decide how long I would do this or anything really. I told everyone that it might be 2 weeks, it might be 2 months, it might be 2 years. For once I will not define (and limit) this choice beforehand. After the first 2 weeks I was so exhausted that I was quite ready to quit already then. Instead I remembered a quote I heard years ago; “Learn to rest, not quit“. So I did; I basically slept through all January.

Each day, each place, each choice along the way is expanding my space, my sense of possibilities, and my sense of peace, regardless of outside circumstances. I’m finding home everywhere. Different home. Each place has different things and people that contribute in unique ways. What a gift!

This also meant letting go of needing to be perfect or always have everything perfect. Perfect background when doing a video or online class. Perfect ingredients for cooking. Perfect drinking water. Perfectly ironed clothes. I learned to ask “is this preference limiting my possibilities?“.

I have learned to relax. In all situations. I even learned to sleep at airports when waiting for a flight! This has always been tricky for me, it seemed like impossible amount of losing control. What if I don’t wake up? What if I miss my flight? I learned to trust my body, to know that my body knows what works for it, it’s not stupid, and it has a incredible sense of timing. It is in communion with all molecules around it, unlike me when I try to think and figure out the best logical solution.

I have learned to trust myself, not outside circumstances.

Constant movement and change becomes ease, the ”normal”. Need to stop or take a break is going away, as does need to repeat things or have routines. I enjoy each thing, day, people I meet thoroughly, as I know I might not encounter this combination of events, things, places and people ever again. And it’s fine. There’s always something more around the next corner.

Now my days get created from questions, not based on routines or what I did yesterday. It’s not about maintaining the past into the future. What is required today? What would be fun today? What would create a future that I really would like to live?

In the end what is really a trip? A separate thing from your every day life? As this has become my everyday life, maybe it should no longer be called a trip, but living. Different maybe, but living nonetheless.

Universe is massively abundant. It always gifts more. So give yourself the freedom to let go of each moment as it passes, so that the next one has space to arrive. However different it may be.